The dry season

"A wise and transformative look at relationships and self-knowledge In the wake of a disastrous two-year relationship, Melissa Febos decided to take a break--for three months she would abstain from dating, from relationships, even from casual sex. Her friends were amused. Did she really think three months was a long time? But to Febos, it was. Ever since her teens, she had been in one relationship or another. As she puts it, she could trace a "daisy chain of romances" from then to now, in her mid-thirties. It was time to focus on herself and examine the lifelong patterns that had produced her midlife disaster. When those three months ended, she feared relapsing into old habits and decided to extend her celibate period. She knew she was taking on a challenge, but had no idea that this year would become the most fulfilling and sensual of her life. No longer defined by her romantic pursuits, she learned to relish the delights of solitude, the thrill of living on her own terms, the sensual pleasures unmediated by lovers, and the freedom to pursue her ideals without distraction or guilt. Bringing her own celibate experiences into conversation with those of women throughout history--from Hildegard von Bingen to the radical feminist group Cell 16--Febos explores how women's decisions to forego sexual intimacy with others (and particularly with men) became a route to freedoms that would otherwise have been inaccessible. The Dry Season is a memoir of celibacy, but it is ultimately a profound exploration of independence, sexuality, and deep self-knowledge. By abstaining from all forms of romantic entanglement, Febos began to see her life and her self-worth in a radical new way. Her year of divestment transformed her relationships with friends and peers, her spirituality, her creative practice, and most of all her relationship to herself"--