Paranormal Nonsense

Tempest Michaels does not believe in the paranormal, so why does he investigate it for a living? Because a typo in his advert landed him the job and clients started calling before he could get it changed. There is no paranormal of course, so Tempest spends much of his time patiently pointing out that Grandma Rita isn't a witch, she is just ugly or that it is not a ghost disturbing your sleep, you have terrible flatulence. However, following a spate of violent deaths with vampiric characteristics the police are getting nowhere and Tempest feels that solving the mystery falls into his job description. This would be enough motivation, but when the alluring PC Amanda Harper AKA PC Hotstuff asks for his help the lonely voice from his pants demands he do all he can to solve the case, find the killer and win a one-way trip to her knickers. Aided by his friends, encumbered by his mother (Why are there no Grandchildren, Tempest?), advised by a clearly deluded occult book shop owner and surrounded on all sides by beautiful women who just want to be friends, Tempest soon finds himself up to his eyeballs in wannabe vampires who want to kill him while simultaneously investigating reports of a Big Foot terrorising the local countryside and dealing with a pesky Poltergeist.It will get worse before it gets better and all he really wants is a date with an attractive woman.