Handbook of Humour for Speakers

Reporters visiting a certain senatorial office were startled when the gentleman burst out of his inner sanctum to demand of his secretaries : "Where's that list of people I call by their first names?" The fisherman had hard luck and on his way home he entered a fish store and said to the dealer : "Just stand where you are and throw me five out of the biggest fish you have in the place." "But why throw 'em?" asked the dealer in amazement. "So I can tell my family I caught them," replied the fisherman. "I may be a poor fisherman, but I am no liar." A Hollywood producer suggested to his secretary that she accompany him to Palm Springs for a weekend trip. Listen she snapped, "I may be your type writer, but I am not portable." These few are extracted from the Handbook of Humour for Speakers.