How To Talk So Kids Can Learn Faber, Adele and Mazlish, Elaine

About the Author Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish are internationally acclaimed, award-winning experts on parent-child communication. Their books, printed in sixteen languages, have sold more than three million copies and their group workshop programs are being used throughout the world. Product Description The leading experts on parent-child communication show parents and teachers how to motivate kies to learn and succeed in school. Review The Washington PostIf you're a teacher or parent, you simply can't get along without this book.Child magazineOur fifth annual Book Award for Excellence in Family Issues has been awarded to How to Talk So Kids Can Learn in the education category.Dr. Lawrence BalterAuthor of Who's in Control? Dr. Balter's Guide to Discipline Without CombatAnother wonderfully practical book from Faber and Mazlish -- for both parents and teachers. With wisdom and humor the authors provide excellent strategies for bringing out the best in schoolchildren. Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved. Chapter 1How to Deal with Feelings That Interfere with LearningIt was the memories of my own teachers -- both those I loved and those I hated -- that made me decide to become one.I had a long, mental list of all the mean things I would never say or do to my students and a clear vision of how infinitely patient and understanding I would be. All during my education courses in college, I held on to my conviction that I could teach kids in a way that would make them want to learn.My first day as a "real" teacher came as a shock. As much as I had planned and prepared, I was totally unprepared for these thirty-two sixth graders. Thirty-two kids with loud voices, high energy, and powerful wants and needs. Halfway through the morning the first rumblings began: "Who stole my pencil?!"..."Get out of my face!"..."Shut up. I'm tryin' to listen to the teacher!"I pretended not to hear and went on with the lesson, but the eruptions continued: "Why do I have to sit next to him?"..."I don't understand what we're supposed to do."..."He punched me!"..."She started it!"My head began to pound? The noise level in the room continued to rise. Words of "patience and understanding" died on my lips. This class needed a teacher who was in charge and in control. I heard myself saying:"Cut it out. Nobody stole your pencil.""You have to sit next to him because I said so.""I don't care who started it. I want it ended. Now!""What do you mean you don't understand? I just explained it.""I can't believe this class. You're acting like first graders. Will you please sit still!"One boy ignored me. He left his seat, walked over to the sharpener, and stood there grinding his pencil to a nub. In my firmest voice I ordered, "That's enough! Sit down right now!""You can't make me do nothin'," he said."We'll talk about this after school.""I can't stay. I ride the bus.""Then I'll need to call your parents to get this settled.""You can't call my parents. We don't got no phone."By three o'clock I was exhausted. The kids burst out of the classroom and spilled out onto the streets. More power to them. They were their parents' responsibility now. I'd done my time.I slumped in my chair and stared at the empty desks. What went wrong? Why wouldn't they listen? What did I have to do to get through to these kids?All during those first few months of teaching, the pattern was the same. I'd start each morning with high hopes and leave every afternoon feeling overwhelmed by the drudgery and tedium of having to drag my class through the required curriculum. But worse than anything, I was turning into the kind of teacher I never wanted to be -- angry, bossy, and belittling. And my students were becoming increasingly sullen and defiant. As the term wore on, I found myself wondering how long I could last.Jane Davis, the teacher next door, came to my rescue. The day after I poured my heart out to her, she stopped by my room and handed me