Mars Evacuees

The fact that someone had decided I d be safer on Mars, where you could still only sort of breathe the air and sort of not get sunburned to death, was a sign that the war with the aliens was not going fantastically well. I was worried that I was about to be told that my mother s spacefighter had been shot down, so that when I found out that I was being evacuated to Mars, I was pretty calm. And, despite everything that happened to me and my friends afterward, I d do it all again. Because until you have been pursued by terrifying aliens, been taught math by a laser-shooting robot goldfish, and tried to save the galaxy, I don t think you can say you ve really lived. If the same thing happens to you, here s my advice: always carry duct tape. "