Guilt-Ridden Mommy A Story of Loss, Love, and Forgiveness after Miscarriage

A story of wading through the struggles of corporate mommy, stay-at-home mommy while learning to deal with the loss of a baby through miscarriage. "I learned early on that life is a process. I was always told to do my best, and I'd be fine. I followed all the written and unwritten rules... never going too outside the norm to achieve my goals and be the best, most conscientious person/mom I could be. I knew life has its unpredictable outcomes, but I still wanted to do everything I could to positively shape my, and my children's future. I wanted my daughter and unborn baby to know there was no safer place than with mommy, and I was going to do everything in my power to be the best I could be. But, as difficult as it is to predict the future, it would also be nice to know what is common among many women who have lead the path before us. I soon learned that my motherhood would be sharply disrupted by common factors I had no idea existed. This all happened with the miscarriage of my second child. I searched and searched for a reason this had happened to my husband and me. There was nothing. The only comfort I found was the comfort of other women who had also told me their similar stories. As much as I appreciated knowing their heartache to help heal my own, I wished I would have known about it before I had even tried to conceive. I believe I would have ended up with pebbles of guilt and burden on my shoulders instead of heavy, debilitating, crushing rocks. In the end, I had come to find out that the outcome of miscarriage was more common than I could even predict. This is why I tell my story to you. I want women and men to be able to talk about their struggles of having children, raising children, and losing children more to women and men who are looking to have children. I want doctors to explain more of what could actually happen in pregnancy without us having to try to read everything from unverified sources. We are not alone in our struggles. Why do we pretend we are