I Will Destroy You, Derek Jeter

One missed foul ball, twenty-eight daycare dogs, and a middle school grudge against baseball's golden boy. Wes' life has been nothing but one tragedy after another since he went to see a game at Yankee Stadium, and it can all be traced back to one man: all-star shortstop Derek Jeter. Now, Derek Jeter must pay. When a fifth-inning foul ball struck Wes squarely in the face, the fallout knocked over a tray of nacho cheese, smashed a television camera, and tanked his class election. Overnight, Wes became a viral laughingstock while Jeter smirked on sports highlight reels. Naturally, extreme retaliation is the only sensible response. Enlisting his best friend Nate, Wes unleashes twenty-eight leashed dogs at a Macy’s cologne launch. Inevitably, payback proves much harder than it looks. This short story from the collection Guys Read: The Sports Pages is a winner. Funny Books for Kids: From a greasy witch doctor chanting in Klingon over Monopoly hotels to a wild chase down Sixth Avenue, Wes’s quest for revenge keeps spiraling into pure slapstick. School Drama: A soda catastrophe on crush Sara Hernandez and a ruined basketball season leave Wes dodging flying cafeteria milk while Nate nurses a shattered elbow in a sling. Unlikely Hero: Determined to redeem his battered reputation, Wes challenges Derek Jeter to a high-stakes base race at Yankee Stadium before the playoffs begin. Also by This Author: The Fourth Stall, Codename Zero and The Hurricanes of Weakerville.