Life as We Know It (Some Assembly Required)

Seriously, this guy is funny. Thomas Walton's new book, Life As We Know It (Some Assembly Required) was 15 years in the making, but fans of Walton's regular humor commentary in the Toledo (Ohio) Blade insist it was worth the wait. His witty examinations of everything life throws at us, from potholes to politicians to COVID, have been appearing in the Sunday Blade since 2007. They are a rarity on the editorial pages of America's newspapers because he uses humor to make a serious point. Walton makes you think while he makes you laugh. Ever wonder what a presidential debate would sound like if the candidates could only speak in famous lines from the movies? Life As We Know It did, with predictably hilarious results. Walton takes his craft seriously but not himself, as when he pokes fun at his own lack of diplomatic skills the day a delegation of officials from the old Soviet Union visited his newspaper. Or when he shares what he thinks would have been the perfect retirement job: funeral greeter. Or when he describes some of the more obscure sports at the Olympics. The javelin, he says, is really nothing more than a giant toothpick, and the first marathon was run by a guy named Phidippides, who was aided only by a favorable tailwind and two bottles of Aquafina. Life As We Know It also shows a softer and occasionally even serious side of the author. He writes lovingly and tenderly of his late wife's 19-year battle with cancer and the emptiness in his life when he lost her. No chapter in Thomas Walton's delightful book is longer than four pages, and each chapter is its own story, offering the reader a "jump in anywhere" invitation and a quick read. Walton reminds us that life is full of surprises, joy, and occasional heartbreak. No matter how long we live, he suggests, some assembly is still required.